Top 25 of the 00's

1) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
"Okay."

The greatest love story of all time that transcends time itself. Every time I watch this film, I pick out something new. Even the little things in this film matter as you see the mind slowly become a husk of what it was. I cannot really express in words what I feel during this film. In words they are nothing. That is what gives this film so much power. Its images really show something incredible. Though there were words written by Charlie Kaufman, this is his and Michael Gondry's magnum-opus after-all, it's hard to think that, from a screenplay, this film was born. It's not just about memory but, in a way, how we are connected to film. We rewind, we rewatch, we see and we remember all of what has occured. Like a dream made for the masses, it's something I want to grasp onto and never let go. Writing about it now, I want to watch it again. And again. And again. You know what, I'll do that right now.

2) Memento
"Am I chasing him or is he chasing me?"

The 00's is the decade of Christopher Nolan. His first film, and his best, turns the film-noir on its head with a simple gimmick originally done on, of all places, Seinfeld: running the entire film in reverse. Yet it works. Brilliantly in fact. The mystery itself becomes more intense knowing how Lenny's short-term memory works and how others exploit it. Like Eternal Sunshine, it is a crisis of memory that makes another indelible picture.

3) Wall-E
""
Sometimes the most that can be said is nothing. When you have two near-silent protagonists, you have to admit you're making a gamble. You can end up with a crap if not done in the most capable hands. And that's where Pixar comes in. Again. Pixar is as durable as Wall-E and has all of his heart. It's not only a gamble doing that but also setting said film in the post-apocalypse? Yes, this film was not meant for kids. Frankly, a lot of Pixar's best work is better seen by some film-savvy adults to get the most out of it. Nevertheless, this is the bravest film to be released in the 00's. Not just because of what it is on the surface but it's message too. I will probably never know how Pixar creates such incredible stories but at least I can watch them.

4) The Dark Knight
"And...here...we...go."

For years, I wanted a true Batman film out there. I have been a Batman fan all my life and the greatest disappointments were watching those old ones made in 90's (although Batman Returns was pretty great though). Rewatching the original Batman film with Jack Nicholson was hard since, well, the film was called Batman but Batman really wasn't in it. Plus, the Joker was just Jack Nicholson. This is the great do-over. Sure, Batman Begins set the groundwork, but this wiped the slate clean of everything wrong with the superhero genre. This is a nitty, gritty crime drama with the greatest interpretation of the Joker to hit the screen. It's sad to think that it can never be done again but it's great to know that it happened. Hats off to you, Christopher Nolan and company. You have made the definitive superhero film and hopefully have inspired more to come *crosses fingers for Spidey reboot*.

5) City of God
"Do you want to take the shot? In the hand or in the foot?"

The best anti-tourist film to Brazil ever, this film really raised the stakes for how to make a film the 00's. Whereas before, many films were shot on sound stages or a place that's completely not the place it's set in (why does every other film about NYC look like Vancouver? Oh...). Here we have a film that relishes that it filmed in the slums of Rio. Many of the actors here too acted for the first time on this film and it surprisingly doesn't show. It just adds more to how authentic this film is.

6) There Will Be Blood
"I have competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people."

I could've added more to the quote above but that would really ruin the fun here. An old fashioned epic that doesn't try too hard to impress you, this film has raised the stakes to what you can make your protagonist. The old saying goes that you need to have your main character have a little bit of sympathy for the audience to follow along. Daniel Plainview has none of that. At times, it is mistaken but, by the end, you know that he's a ruthless wrench...but you love him anyways for it.

7) The Man Who Wasn't There
"Me, I don't talk much...I just cut the hair."

Here's the recipe. Mix a little film noir with a little Coen Bros. and what do you get? Ta da! This remarkable piece of celluloid. A film that I still have no idea how it got rated R and no idea how it works so damn well. It's like every scene flows perfectly like a river without the rocky turbulence. It's so clean and seamless and yet that's the point. They made a clean, seamless film about clean, seamlesses. It's so bloody brilliant.

8) The Departed
"I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy"

I could've just used the word "fuck" but what the hell? This is Scorsese's 00's masterpiece that will surely be looked at with the likes of Goodfellas, Raging Bull, and Taxi Driver to many film studies student in the future. Literally, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time watching this. At no point did I know who was going to live and who was going to die or who was going to be caught and who was going to go free.

9) Spirited Away
"You don't remember your name?"

Miyazaki is the master of anime. Frankly, watching other animes in comparison to his can sometimes be a shock to the system. Other animes can have weird, crazy shit happening in all directions. Miyazaki, however, makes it all make sense. Take this incredible film. Would an American film be able to pull off A) a train that travels on water B) the protagonist's parents turning into pigs C) a hotel filled with crazy-ass spirits running all over the place? I think not. Well, maybe Pixar might be able to do something.

10) The Incredibles
"No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes! "

Deconstruction is one of the operative words of the 00's. It eventually had to get superheroes but Pixar, like usual, was ahead of the curve here. Before every summer blockbuster became a superhero movie, Pixar made this film about how they cope when they really can't be superheroes anymore because of frivolous lawsuits. Yeah, there may be a right-wing undercurrent in some of it but I don't mind. It's a damn great movie.

11) Chang-Wook Park's Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance/Oldboy/Sympathy for Lady Vengeance)
"Even though I'm no more than a monster, don't I, too, have the right to live?"

Is it cheating to put this all at 11? Chang-Wook Park has made the perfect trilogy of what vengeance does the human soul. I dare you to watch all three of these films at once and not feel like you want to commit suicide. Also, don't commit suicide. See the next film on this list to cheer you up.

12) Finding Nemo
"Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!"

Is it also cheating that there's a lot of Pixar films in the Top 20? No. Not really. Though, if quality output is considered a monopoly by the FEC, they would probably be broken up right quick. You just can't stop Pixar.

13) The Lord of the Rings
"My preccciooouussssssssss"

Some directors only have one great film in them. Peter Jackson had three. Well, two and a half. The ending of the last one was pretty weak. Nevertheless, this film will go on to define what is an epic movie long, long into the future. Plus, after this, you really don't have to read the books. Believe me, I read them. If you can make it through the first half of the book of The Fellowship of the Ring, than G-d bless ya.

14) Up
"Adventure is out there!"

Pixar is the most consistent studio with the highest quality films. I still wonder when they are eventually going to slip up (my bet is Cars 2) but, at least now, we can bask in their golden years and the wonderful creative outflow created by it. This film also can work as a soul-detector. If you aren't moved by the first 12 minutes of the film, well, buddy, I hate to break it to ya.

15) Ratatouille
"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

Whoa! Big quote there but it really is what makes this film so endearing. Pixar has a way of making a plot that usually has limited commercial potential into a fully-realized film everyone can enjoy. Kids will enjoy it for the funny rats but adults will enjoy it as a deconstruction on what art truly is. Well, the smart adults anyways. The dumb ones can enjoy the funny rats.

16) Pan's Labyrinth
"Hi! Are you a fairy?

Strong, manly men have cried many a manly tear after seeing this film. A fairy tale all gone wrong in Fascist Spain, this film's flights of fancy tend to uncover darker parts of what was going on at the time. Hell, the villain of the piece is more frightening than any of the creatures seen in the film. Or did we not see them? Were they all an illusion? Damn you Pan's Labyrinth for juggling my conception of reality!

17) Almost Famous
"I am a golden god!"

As a Classic Rock superfan, it would be dishonest to say that I placed this film way up here based on merit alone. Far from it. What it does is explain why people love music. Yeah, High Fidelity did that too but instead of placing the film solely on the eyes of a cynical, bitter man it places it in a naive fan overwhelmed by being surrounded by living rock gods (that, of course, have their own problems too). And, honestly, if I was thrust back into that time that's exactly how I would've been.

18) Band of Brothers

More of a gigantic movie than a miniseries, it is the definitive film about World War 2. Clocking in at over 10 hours, to watch it all entirely in a theater, it would be difficult. Broken up on DVD and TV, it's much more manageable. Make no mistake, this is not a television series. Like Lord of the Rings, it's just one gigantic broken up into manageable bites...well, unless you include the extended editions. Those take all day.

19) Children of Men
"Pull my finger!"

Some say that Avatar is the most revolutionary film of the 00's. Of course, I disagree. Watch this film and tell me that this is not the most realistic version of a future world out there. By not putting CGI directly in our faces but instead hiding it cleverly within the scene, it feels like we are with these characters the entire time. Sure, unlike Avatar, it's not a world we really want to be in but it sucks us in just the same. Plus, the plot isn't as hackeneyed.

20) Monsters Inc.
"Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy."

Continuing the trend of one of the major themes of the 00's, this film deconstructs the monsters we were scared of as children into a bunch of office drones. True, their jobs are exciting, but they punch in and out like everyone else. And, yes, they can be just as petty as some people in an office can be. The visuals too are breathtaking, especially the "Ride of the Doors" sequence.

21) Road to Perdition
"There are only murderers in this room! Michael! Open your eyes! This is the life we chose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: none of us will see heaven."

Sam Mendes' masterpiece. It's sort of an adaptation of "Lone Wolf and Cub" for the 1920's set but that would just simplify what he accomplishes here. It's a film made up of monsters and how some of them try to regain their souls. It's also notable that this is one of Paul Newman's final performances and what a fine, fine note to go out on.

22) Munich
"We are supposed to be righteous. That's a beautiful thing. And we're losing it. If I lose that, that's everything. That's my soul."

One of the most controversial and daring films of Steven Spielberg's career, this film is about how violence ends up solving nothing. In fact, all it creates is more violence. What's really amazing about this film is that there is no real good guys to root for. After every hit that Eric Bana's character completes, Spielberg creates a little voice in your head saying "Maybe this wasn't the guy after all." Heck, the original title of the film was Vengeance, which basically just says it right there.

23) The Squid and the Whale
"What is it about high school? You read all the worst books by good writers."

Noam Baumbach needs to make more movies. Besides being the finest film I've seen in the past decade on marital discord and the awkward life of the kids in the middle of it all...I really have nothing to add to that.

24) Anchorman
"I love lamp! I love lamp."

Even crazy, outlandish, comedies deserve their spots in film history. Well, only the good ones. And this is a fantastic one. Probably the most quotable film since The Big Lebowski, this film has something for almost every occasion. Hot days: "Milk was a bad choice!" Hangovers: "I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room and they would NOT stop screaming." Murdering someone with a trident: "I think you better lay low for a while."

25) Inglorious Basterds
"You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business; we in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin'."

Hell yes. Quentin Tarantino has always been the king of bad-ass but this film puts him as the emperor. An alternate history story that is as enthralling as it is satisfying. The performances are indelible. Christopher Waltz plays his character like Sherlock Holmes except he's been indoctrinated with Nazism.